The Groundwork Reset for When You Feel Stuck or Fearful
EPISODE SUMMARY
Many riders feel stuck in their horsemanship, even though they care deeply and want to improve. They feel behind, embarrassed about past mistakes, or unsure how to handle fear that wasn’t there before—but don’t know how to ask for help.
In this episode, Miranda explains that the root of that fear and frustration is often a lack of clarity, not a lack of ability. When riders don’t understand why their horse is reacting a certain way, everything starts to feel unpredictable and out of control.
This is where the Groundwork Reset comes in. By focusing on simple, intentional groundwork and understanding horse psychology, you start to remove the unknown and create a clear starting point for both you and your horse.
As you work through this reset, you begin to see what’s actually happening instead of guessing. That clarity helps rebuild your confidence, improve communication, and put you back in control of the situation.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Feeling stuck or fearful often comes from a lack of clarity and self-belief, not ability.
Understanding your horse’s behavior removes the unknown and reduces fear.
A simple groundwork reset can rebuild confidence and create real progress.
Transcript
Hey there, it’s Miranda Allyn, and welcome back to Horsemanship, Growth, and Gratitude.
In the relatively short amount of time that I have been giving horsemanship lessons over the last few years, I have heard over and over again the same stories from women of all stages of life.
These are women who are quite awesome, and I highly respect the lives that they’ve built for themselves, and admire how they have held on to their horsey dreams even through numerous life challenges.
While their ages, horses, and occupations may differ, they all have the common denominator of I love my horse and I want to improve on my horsemanship because….
I feel so behind, I feel so ashamed for my past mistakes with horses.
I feel so out of touch with current methods.
I feel so much fear around getting hurt that I have never experienced before, and I don’t know how to handle it.
And I feel embarrassed to admit that out loud, and reach out and ask for help.
All I can say is, Girl, I see you, I’ am you, you are most definitely NOT alone, and I've also got you.
When I first started out giving lessons, it was just to teach my friend a little about barrel racing. She then referred me to another person who knew they needed help, but didn’t know what kind of help, since they worked with other ‘trainers’ with no success.
For the first few lessons, I was dealing with all the impostor syndromes- of do I really know what I’m doing? I tried to give lessons years ago, but it just didn’t click. I’m not a good teacher. How do I know what to do? What to say?
So I said to myself, clearly the universe wants me to do this, so I’m going to give it a go and I’ll be happy to try and help, but if we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it my way.
I’m not going to just stand there and tell you how to sit pretty. You’re going to learn how to think like a trainer.
I’m going to start out by teaching the groundwork that I learned in college, since I know that pretty well, and it really made drastic improvements with my own personal horses over the years.
Several lessons in, my client was growing leaps and bounds, and not in just how to handle a horse, but also in confidence in themselves around horses. The fears they had were starting to crumble away.
I remember thinking, huh… that’s interesting.
As I started taking on more and more clients, I would say if you want to work with me, we’re starting with a little groundwork and psychology first and foremost.
Just trust me on the process; this goes a long way to helping you connect with your horse and filling in any holes.
Little did I realize how to articulate it at the time, that was just prioritizing how to build a solid foundation.
Now, I’m not one to boast, but I wasn’t blind to the fact that several of these clients, who were mostly women who came to me nervous, embarrassed, and fearful, started getting great results.
My methods of teaching weren’t just about learning how to control their horse.
They now understood why their horse reacted in certain ways. They started recognizing patterns in their horse and knew how to read and predict where their horse was currently at and the path they were heading down, and now they had the tools to steer that ship back on course.
I also noticed their confidence in themselves also skyrocketed because they no longer felt incapable, as they could see actual progress.
Their horses started recognizing the shift in their energy too and started gaining more and more respect for the owners.
And an incredible byproduct, other horse friends started noticing their improvements too, and started asking them for help here and there.
Like, how cool is that?!
Every time the client would tell me about it, I could tell they were proud of it, but were also nervous about if they should have stepped into the teacher role in that moment, and would always tell them, " Hey, that’s amazing. YOU put in the hard work to get into that position. If it’s something you know well enough and feel comfortable with explaining it to a friend, by all means, teaching it to a friend is only going to strengthen your own knowledge!”
Here is where I think the secret sauce is. Women make up around 90% of the horse industry. But still to this day, a majority of trainers are men, heck, even most saddles have trees designed for a man’s pelvis when a woman’s pelvis is angled completely different. And don’t get me started on how a woman’s mind gets rewired after having kids.
All of these women I’ve worked with are brilliant people, but I think they just didn’t have anyone who could relate to them and communicate with them in a way that makes sense to them.
What I know about fear is, it’s caused by the unknown. Plain and simple.
And I am 1000% in that same boat as so many other women out there, where I know what goals I have in life, but I easily allow fear to sometimes bulldoze me over to keep me from making progress.
When I know darn well if I can just take the first few steps and get the ball rolling, I’ll be unstoppable. But it’s those first few steps that are the hardest.
That’s why I just started calling the way I approach the initial lessons with me as The Groundwork Reset Program.
Because that is exactly what so many women, who are more than capable, need- just a reset.
They already have what it takes, they just sometimes need someone who will believe in them and give them a few tools they can do to prove it to themselves.
What I believe is unique about my Groundwork Reset Program is that I take the time to explain the psychology of the horse first, because once the rider understands the WHY, we just removed a good portion of the unknown.
And with that goes the fear, because we weren’t fearful of our horse, were we?
We were fearful of not knowing if they were going to spook.
We were fearful of not knowing if they were going to buck us off.
We were fearful of not knowing if they were going to push us over.
But now we can see they were spooking because they have been on the lunch menu their entire life, and they didn’t feel like we were a confident enough leader who was going to keep them safe, because we weren’t!
We can see now that they were bucking because we were giving them mixed signals, and they were confused, frustrated, and felt just as misunderstood as we do.
And we can now see the difference in the thinking vs the reactive state of the mind.
And we have confidence in our ability to at least get the horse using the thinking side again.
From there we may not know 100% what to do, but at least we’ll be in a safer position to figuring it out.
That’s all we want! We just need to understand why we’re doing something. And unfortunately, most people don’t teach this. It breaks my heart to think about how many women out there are giving up on their horsey dreams because they are letting fear take the driver's seat.
This is exactly why we need Cowgirls Supporting Cowgirls. I did an entire podcast episode on this. It’s episode #11, I’ll link it in the show notes if you’d like to take a listen.
I will be the first one to say that me teaching, supporting, and helping others has increased my knowledge tenfold. Along with given me numerous friendships that I truly cherish and wouldn’t of had without horses.
Horses and kids truly take a village. We need to be each other's village.
And if you’ve been listening to this and wondering, “Okay… but what does that actually look like? What do I do with my horse to start creating that shift?”
We all know it’s one thing to understand the why… but at some point, we have to be able to apply it in a way that actually changes something for both us and the horse.
This is where groundwork comes in.
Groundwork isn't about making a horse move their feet. It's about making them give you their attention.
It just so happens that to get their attention, you need to move their feet.
But not just in a mindless, “go do circles” kind of way.
I’m talking about intentional movement. Movement with a purpose. Movement that is constantly asking your horse to stay mentally connected to you.
Because if their feet are moving, but their mind is somewhere else… you don’t actually have them.
And that’s where so many people get frustrated. They’re doing the motions, they’re doing the exercises, but they’re not getting the results—because the horse isn’t with them mentally.
And that’s the whole goal.
And you surely cannot expect to fix a respect problem in the saddle if you can't get softness, understanding, and respect on the ground.
But here’s the part that I think doesn’t get talked about enough…
Groundwork isn’t just training your horse.
It’s training you.
It’s giving you a place to slow down, to notice, to start reading what’s actually happening instead of reacting to it.
It’s where you learn how to recognize the moment your horse checks out… before it turns into something bigger.
It’s where you learn how to influence the situation in a small, controlled way—so you don’t feel like things are spiraling out of control.
And for so many women, this is where that fear finally starts to loosen its grip.
Because now… you’re not just hoping your horse behaves.
You’re not just bracing for what might happen.
You’re actually doing something about it.
You’re creating clarity. You’re creating communication. You’re creating a plan.
And that right there is what starts to rebuild your confidence.
Not because you forced yourself to “be brave”…
"Cowboy Up" is a load of garbage and just tells you to ignore the fear.
But because you finally feel like you have something to fall back on.
Something that makes sense.
Something that works.
Something that puts you back in the driver’s seat.
That something is a solid foundation.
And that’s what I mean when I say—I’ve got you.
Thanks for tuning in to Horsemanship, Growth, and Gratitude with Miranda Allyn Horsemanship.
If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with a friend who loves horses as much as we do.
And while you’re at it, be sure to check out my website, www.mirandaallyn.net to stay updated on the launch of my upcoming products, including — Essentials of Horsemanship.
Until next time — remember, horsemanship is in the details.
Episode 11- Cowgirls Supporting Cowgirls https://open.spotify.com/episode/35RNe5QfldPg7jtlzdVeGI?si=-Tmbn4iSRROWI_LdQbsCrw
Disclaimer: The information in this podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only. Horsemanship involves inherent risks, and every horse-and-human pair is unique. Always work within your skill level, put safety first, and consult a qualified trainer or veterinarian when needed. You are responsible for your own decisions and safety.
